They Can All Suck It

The thought of having a wedding makes me want to puke. Everyone around me is planning their weddings and I'm not even engaged. While I wish I was planning right alongside of them, I'm glad that I'm not. Because, as I said, it makes me want to puke.

Let me explain.

First reason why it makes me want to puke: I'm not religious. And I'm really sick of family members forcing their religion on me. I never bring up religion, nor do I ever bring up the lack thereof, but they find it necessary to always bust God into things. If Kevin and I were to have an ideal wedding, it would be completely purged of all things religious. However, "ideal" is pushing it. With our families, the next thing you know someone's gonna be standing up to deliver a verse from the Bible. And I'll be the one in the corner with a tranquilizer gun trying to shoot them.

And yes, I know the tranquilizer gun might conflict with my dress, but I'm cool with that.

Second reason why it makes me want to puke: I'm surely not romantic. Romance freaks me out. I feel like it's so contrived. I very rarely get into a romantic mood, and even when I do, I like it toned down. Kevin and I have had about two or three candlelight dinners thus far and I think that's enough for one lifetime. *gags* The only "romantic" thing that I can deal with is receiving flowers. Flowers are pretty.

Third reason why it makes me want to puke: Family conflicts. I'm an "uh-oh" baby. My parents aren't married and weren't ever married. My mom had several kids with another man before I was accidentally made with my dad. My dad and my mom's kids do NOT get along. It's a recipe for disaster. My mom already told me that she would walk out if anything happened between anyone. Great. Just what I want. I'm not dramatic, but somehow I always end up having to cope with the drama around me.

Fourth reason why it makes me want to puke: Money. Kevin's parents make (literally) four times the amount of money that my parents make in a year. My parents are poor. My mom and dad would get stuck with most of the bill and they would be 100% fine with that, even though they would be scraping pennies off the floor and struggling to pay bills. I don't want to do that to them. They've already done more than enough for me. But I can't afford my own wedding either, and Kevin's mom would bitch up a storm if she had to dip into her piles of money.

Now, there are two reasons why I want to get married. First of all, what girl wants to turn down a pretty ring and a pretty dress and a pretty reception and a pretty cake and the opportunity to dance the night away with everyone she's close to?

Second of all, I know this sounds greedy.. but gifts. How the heck are Kevin and I gonna fill a house without a wedding? Most people use their own money to get a house and then their oodles of wedding gifts and wedding money to fill the house. We're not only going to have to buy a house, but we're going to have to fill it too.

*feels a bag of stress hit her on the head* Maybe we can have a housewarming party?

Kevin and I decided that we wanted to get eloped awhile ago. Or, well.. modified eloped? Bring a few close friends to a faraway place, get married, and tell everyone else to go fuck themselves. It would be great. And no, I wouldn't want to bring my parents or Kevin's parents. But they don't know that. And I don't think Kevin's okay with that, but honestly, I don't think it would take long to convince him otherwise.

It would certainly be a little humanist wedding and a close friend would be the one to marry us. Oh, and while it will be incredibly small and hardly planned, I will definitely have a pretty white dress.

The thought of this is making me happy. My mood switched from super angry to super happy in like 2 seconds during that transition from big wedding to modified eloping.

What do you think? Am I gonna regret not having a super big wedding?