Pulling it out on stage

I've always received random compliments from strangers, as I'm sure most people do. You know, when you walk into a gas station and someone tells you "you have beautiful eyes" or they randomly greet you with "hey gorgeous!"

Well, as soon as I became single, these compliments tripled. Singleness must add a special glow to me or something.

I went to a club with Keith and we danced for hours straight after taking a few shots and I swear, so many men were trying to steal me from him. Now of course, I'm a lesbian, but as everyone knows, it's nice to be wanted.

By the end of the night I had one guy dancing behind me and one guy dancing in front of me (who I managed to lure over from the other side of the club). In the meantime I creepily stared down girls on either side of me. Muhahhahha.

I know, I'm awful.

In other news, I went to see my friend's band and he was up on stage. Not thinking he had his cell phone, I texted him, "Play at more bars so I can get wasted." As it turns out, his phone was in his back pocket. He fucking pulls it out on stage, looks at me, and bursts into laughter.

It made my night.

Blah

You know you had a good night when you wake up the next day in your clothes with a cult symbol on your hand that transferred to your face.

Too funny.

Keith and I went to see a show which was awesome. The music was great. It was in the middle of fucking nowhere. And there were only hipsters. Young hipsters. I'm cool with older hipsters but young hipsters have the "I'm too cool for everyone and I stick to my clique" mentality.

I hate people like that. I like to mingle. And mingling is impossible when everyone is stuck up and anti-social.

After the show we went to a bar known for it's lesbian crowd and then this nifty little club in a basement. We got very very drunk and then ate tons of food.

I fell asleep half on an ottoman and half on a couch. What a ridiculous night.

Reading over this, I sound really boring.

I Think I'm Stuck

I'm a very lucky girl. I love my life with all of my heart, as weird as that may sound. I'm just so incredibly happy about everything. I have the best friends that a girl could ask for, both back home and here, and I'm grateful for every single second of my life.

Now, if you thought that was corny sounding, wait till I get to the second part.

A girl is tugging at my heart. Already. And I like it and I don't like it at the same time. I was just getting cozy in my new found independence and a girl that keeps a smile on my face every freaking minute of the day comes along and knocks me off of my feet.

*sigh*

Why me?

Something Wrong With Mine Too

It was a Friday night. I asked my best friend Alex and his boyfriend to hang out with me. Alex said, “Yes, Saturday at noon.”

Saturday morning I drive the 65 miles to his house and I text him as I’m parking. “I’m parking.” His response, “Crap.” I ask him what’s wrong.

“I’m in Florida.”

I know Alex way too well so I head up to his front door and knock. Ten minutes later he opens the door wearing Spider-Man pajamas with his hair standing straight up and empty liquor bottles all over the floor.

Yup, that’s my Alex. Hungover. Not a shock.

It was a fun night. We got completely wasted, went to a gay bar, went to a straight club, danced with strangers and barely made it into his house alive. Nothing too abnormal for an Alex date. We even hung out with our other best friend, Amanda, who is going crazy. She has something wrong with her brain, literally (so don’t laugh).

But I get to tease her about it because I’m her best friend. “Nicole, the doctor said something is wrong with my brain.” “Um, I knew that already. There’s always been something wrong with your brain."

She laughed at me.

But really though, I’m really scared for her. She means the world to me.

Ukranian Lumberjacks

Um. I went to a lumberjack party in the mountains last night. Imagine plaid shirts, mullets, work boots, axes, and Bisquick bottles hanging from belt loops.

I got really wasted, really really wasted up in the valley with my friend Nick and some random guy named Francisco. Next thing you know, I'm in a car following a pickup truck packed with couches driven by a Ukrainian guy named Vlad.

It was right off of the side of the mountain in front of a factory. There were tons of drunken lunatics there. I sat on a couch in front of a bonfire for at least an hour and saw 3 people fall into the fire. No lie.

Funniest shit ever: Some random drunk bitch yells "Avatar!" and attempts to run across the fire and falls head first into it. Then she army crawled out of it. Her shoes melted and her pants were all black. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

And I've never seen so many gross, hairy, pale boy butts before in my life. There was no bathroom nearby so everyone was peeing in the woods. And the men thought it would be necessary to drop their pants to the ground when they had to take a piss. Thanks for making me more of a lesbian.

Within five minutes of being there I noticed a girl. I knew I would find a way to get her over to me. Next thing you know she's "keeping me warm" in front of the fire and asking me to go with her to a diner. She was nuts. She literally just popped a squat right next to me and peed. Everyone watched and she just went on to explain how her underwear don't go well with her jeans.

What a ridiculous night.

I left once they set all the couches on fire. I knew the cops would be there soon.