These days are unlike any others that I have had. I have been alive for nearly 29 years. I have most certainly risen to over 10,000 sun rises, and yet these days have been so out of the ordinary. They are the most beautiful blue I have seen. Not just from the waves crashing upon the white-ish sand. But also, your blue eyes shining as bright as the water diamonds.
When I return home the scene is certainly different than it was last month this time. I walk around the corner as geckos cross quickly under the white fence. Palm trees pierce through the openings and gently brush against my sandy blonde strands. The wind blows my hair across my sunglasses, And as I stroll up to our mountainside home at Malo'o Place, there is usually a gorgeous calico or black cat basking under the tropical sun, looking gently towards my smiling presence.
With each step up the broken bricks under the shady swaying leaves, I become closer to the door that houses our small living space. One bedroom, a large closet, and a bathroom. But so much love flows through that tiny space, I can feel it so softly but clearly when I lay on his bare chest at night, his soft lips kissing my forehead now and then. His sleepy slanty eyes so peaceful as he rests his head once again to the side.
And then as I go to work, feet quickly hopping down the hill, I am greeted by aloha grins and "good mornings" so genuine that the mountains shake, beautiful rainbow piercing into the whitest of clouds. Upon entering the bus I am in such a pleasant quiet place as we pass the prickly pears and beach park. The marina shines brilliant green as the water softly bounces about.
When I am left off downtown and I enter the cafe area, I quietly meditate as I enjoy my breakfast. I am ready for the day.
Up on the 26th floor I feed my attorney's eight black fish, turn on his light, and quietly sit at my desk typing deeds and mortgages. Friendly people walk before my desk, all acknowledging my existence and asking me about my previous day. Each second of this is beautiful. Just as it is beautiful as I enter my other attorney's office, ukulele strumming from his radio. I hear alohas and mahalos. My attorney cutely requests that I punch "pukas" in the papers that I give him. The girls in the office excitedly order from the bento place down the street for lunch. As I walk into the lunch room, girls sing and dance and candy or asian treats of some sort are usually found on the table to share.
Aloha Friday is the most enjoyable of days. Popcorn is served in the summery courtyard, coworkers playing ping pong and live Hawaiian music filling the air. And no matter what day of the week, the cafe woman recognizes me immediately at the register and the cook smiles at me, nodding his head like we've known each other for years.
The ride home is as pleasant as the ride to work, gentle people sitting next to me quietly, all respectful of my space.
The best part is being dropped off at the "kiss and ride" seeing that muddy botanist car pulling into the small parking lot. He kisses me when I enter the car. I tell him I love him.
Besides the beach walks, shopping center adventures, cafe writing adventures, and tasty restaurants, I also just enjoy being in the car with him holding his hand as we wind around the twisty mountains beach-side roads. I believe my grandmother is over the shining sea, watching us with a smile on her face. I miss her so much. I believe this is all a gift she sent to me. I know she only ever wanted me to be happy. Well, I am. And I am still forever grateful to her.
We have also ventured up a mud-covered road to John's greenhouse, bananas, mangos, papayas, avocados, vanilla, cinnamon, coffee, so many things growing green and beautifully. It's so wild up there, with a waterfall up the muddy path. I often tell him it's like you can find a dinosaur hiding somewhere in the thick forest. We stayed in a home up there and were feasted upon by mosquitoes as we scooped soft papaya pieces out of the fruit.
I think it is truly beautiful here. It's such a blessing to be able to spend a portion of my life here. Everything is more than I could have ever asked for. My life went from dark gray to such a brilliant sunny blue. This is a gift from my grandmother, for sure, and I am thankful for every breath I get to breathe. I am thankful for the glowing sun, the rustling leaves, the pretty cacti and lighthouse around the way.
And most of all, I am thankful for such a beautiful, intimate relationship with John. I have never felt so in love. I love when we kiss by candle light after a warm lavender foot soak together. I love resting on his warm chest, listening to his cute heartbeat. I love holding his hands and telling him how beautiful his eyes are. I am so thankful he exists. I am so thankful for such a connection that I begged and begged for. This is what I asked for.. and now that I have it, I must not take it for granted. I must enjoy his beautiful white smile, he cute perfect laughs, all of it. I must listen to his heartbeat every night and run my hands through his soft hair every night. He has my heart. I tell him all of the time, but I don't even think he understands how much he means to me. How important he is to me. How I enjoy every single second with him, even when I'm cranky or he's cranky or we're both cranky. It's worth pushing through each second.
In general, I am just so thankful for what my life has become. I wish this upon everyone in my life. I hope my parents have the same happiness that I do. I miss them so much but for the first time in a long time, I feel fulfilled. I feel happy just to be alive.
