lazypost. toolazyevenforspacesinthetitle.

I'm just way too exhausted to put this in detail. Firstly, I got my own apartment. I love it. I can't afford chairs. I have one and me and my friends take turns sitting in it.

Secondly, today my dad came to visit and IT WAS SO FUNNY...

Dad: "Oh look, do you think you have enough liquor on top of your fridge Nicole?"

Then he opened up the fridge. "Oh, look, filled with beer."

Then he opened up the freezer. "Oh and look, even more liquor."

I swear on my life I'm not an alcoholic. My friends just buy me tons of alcohol! Out of my entire collection, I only bought maybe one or two.

Thirdly, I went to the most amazing Halloween party ever last night in West Philly. I made tons of new friends. Drank a lot of beer. Ended up at some random other house where there was an even bigger party with a DJ and lots of dancing lesbians.

I stumbled into my apartment covered in beer and ketchup. IT WAS GREAT. My ears are still ringing. I'M TIRED AND COLD. I'll fix this post later maybe.

in the autumn shade

I mean, I'm happy. I'm comfortable. I love my life. It's exactly what I want it to be and no one can stop me from doing what I love. But things are just strange. I'm probably going to ramble now so brace yourself.

Me and one of my roommates were told to get out of our current living arrangements in 90 days. One left already. I'm still here. I'm looking for apartments. I'm excited for what life has in store for me.

However, the whole "get out in 90 days" thing was revoked. So now I can stay here. And it costs less than getting my own place. But I think my sanity would prefer that I leave.

But also, my sanity would prefer that I stay.

This is why. My life is very simple right now to begin with. I go to work. I come home. I eat. I listen to music and drink beer. I write poetry. And then I go to bed. Right now I'm back into my anti-social .. ditch? I guess you could call it a ditch.

I pretty much hate everyone and everything. And the thing that makes me happiest is just staying in my room or being alone. Sometimes Keith will come over and we just sit around and hate everything together.

I feel like if I get my own apartment, I'll be even more anti-social than I am already. Which, I guess is okay because as I said, I love my life and I'm happy being anti-social.

But this isn't normal. And.. fuck.. you all know that I'm definitely not normal. But I don't want to be that abnormal. Even though I know I'd love it. The thought of having my own place and piling myself under my comforter on the floor with a candle or two lit, some music playing softly, and .. that's it really.. just fills me with peace.

I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to interact with people too often (now and then a bar trip is nice), and I don't really want to do anything. I just want to be. If that makes sense. I just want to lay on the floor wearing ten pounds of cozy comfy clothes, play Kara Jayne on repeat, paint my nails, and stare out a window. That's it really.

I wouldn't have any regrets you know, if I died tomorrow. I don't feel like this is wasting my life. I feel like it's me living it to the fullest. I'm just being myself. And myself just doesn't like being around humans that much right now.

Miss Gaga.

Life has been very strange. Very very strange. Started going out drinking with my coworkers on a regular basis. Actually, went out with the assistant manager last week which was a very confusing feeling. I invited one of my coworkers over and she hung out with me and Keith. We had some drinks and sat around the hookah talking about my crazy roommates.

Oh, the roommate situation.

I've been very close to Alex because Shannon and Kevin are being very weird. They don't talk to either of us. They don't even say anything when you say hi to them. They don't leave their bedroom. They're just so depressed. It's kind of sucky.

But I got them to come out of their shells last night. They talked for a whole two hours.

Because I was Gaga.

I got bored so I put together a full Gaga costume. I came downstairs and I think they couldn't resist talking to Gaga. So it kind of brought everyone together. Then Keith and I went to a few surrounding towns and I made my appearance as Gaga. People were doing double takes and I even got waves from a few cars.

It was so much fun. After that we went to the sloppiest most disgusting club ever to go dancing and it was sucky.

Next week I'm making another appearance as Gaga. It will be soooo much fun.

I'm such an exhibitionist. It's not even funny.