Religion has gained my interest recently. I've considered myself an atheist for many years and it's been so many years, in fact, that I never really think about it. I just know that there is no "creator" based off of things I've learned in geology class, chemistry class, history class, physics class, astronomy class, etc. Upon learning what I learned, I knew one hundred percent without a doubt in my mind that there is no fucking way that there is an omniscient being out there that made this universe, even in a way that a deist may believe.
The Higgs Boson came to light not that long ago and it made me think about religion again, solidifying my stance as an atheist even more, but also making me more interested in things such as Hinduism and Buddism just for the mental benefits.
I mean, religion is the opiate of the masses. And I'm all about sticking my hand in the cookie jar to get a taste of the sweetness. So I've looked into the non-religious traditions of Buddhist and Hindu culture and hold those to my heart as a way of feeling "one with the universe" in my ever-so-hippy way that my coworker teases me about. You know, doing the tree pose by candle light and listening to Krishna Das while meditating. And also, everyone appreciates a little nonattachment like Buddha preached.
However, I'm an intelligent being. I don't think that there's a god in my tree or that the Book of the Dead is true by any means. I collect Ganesh statutes (Remover of Obstacles) because it makes me happy in the same way that my unicorn pillow pet makes me happy, not because I think they're going to make my mom suddenly love the gays.
About five years ago I spent time researching various religions and in that period of time I even read the Book of Satanism. I thought to myself "holy shit that's a lot of animal sacrificing." But then I read the Bible and thought "holy shit this is even more animal sacrificing." It's all the same. Kill things to make some invisible person happy. And when it's not "kill things to make some invisible person happy," it's "cook vegetarian meals to make some invisible person happy" (for instance, in Hinduism).
I've had holy water squirted on me, I've kneeled in Catholic churches, I've done readings in front of hundreds of people in non-Catholic churches, I've meditated in a room full of devout Buddhists, I've had dinner with a monk on the dirty floor of an old building in Philadelphia and twitched when he pulled a cell phone out from between his crossed legs. It's all the same to me. People do this stuff because it makes them happy. They need something to cling to.
I'm a strong person but when I'm sad, I meditate because it brings out the existentialist side of me. It makes me realize how none of this really matters. It strips down all of the stupid layers of this world and makes me realize that work isn't important, family isn't important, friends aren't important... the only thing that is important is breathing really. Because that's what keeps you here. It does exactly what Buddha wants it to do; it detaches you from material things.
I'm lucky to be on this beautiful earth with the beautiful sunlight. And you know why? Because it's all by chance that I'm here. And I'm going to take advantage of it before I'm in the ground because I'm not naive enough to save my happiness for some sort of afterlife. That's just silly.
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