I need to write because my brain is sore from thinking so diligently. Numbers here, numbers there. The stress of responsibility often wedges itself between where you want to be and what you need to do to get to where you want to be. It's like a big chunk of our lives are spent staring at the top of the mountain from the bottom as well as attempting to climb up it.
But if you try hard enough, eventually you reach the top of that motherfucking mountain and it is brilliant. The sun shines on you, the clouds are magnificent, and the whole world can hear your cheers of joy.
And we're all bound to fall off that mountain and find ourselves at square one again. It's happened to me many times.
Right now I'm climbing up that mountain and I'm very close to the top, I can sense it. But in my typical fashion I'm scared, thinking that I'm not even looking at the mountain yet. I'm down the street at the gas station and just realized that I left my hiking bag back home.
When I was 18 I sat in front of a counselor and she said to me, "Nicole, your biggest problem is that you have a skewed perception of what's right in front of you." I hope she's right. I hope I'm just skewing the shit out of everything right now.
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