Red cups

I don't even know where to begin. Right now I'm sitting at the old coffee house I worked at.  The one that closed down.  It's all boarded up. A sign fell off of one hinge and it's dangling in the wind, screeching.

This is going to sound stupid but sometimes this feels like my only home. It's my only security.  I've sat in this vacant parking lot many times thinking about life.

So last night there was a big party at my house.  I didn't want anything to do with it.  I've been sober for three days. It's made me very antisocial. I ditched five of my friends in these three days.  Haven't showered, slightly depressed. I'm a mess.

I wasn't gonna drink. I invited Keith and Keely over to help me guard the house. Guests were only allowed in the basement.

I kept getting drinks forced on me and I kept turning them down. At some point I got pissed, grabbed a 40, and downed it in 20 minutes.

Next thing you know, there are strangers on all three floors of my house, I'm dressed like a cowgirl, I'm being dance-humped by someone who just snorted cocaine in front of a crowd. Mind you, this guy was in jail for murder. Greeeeat.

My friends kept disappearing because they were fighting over some drunk bitch with my roommate. They all wanted to sleep with her.

I fell asleep on the front lawn for 45 minutes, got into three fights with three girls who were disrespecting my home, had to kick some bitches out of my bathroom cause someone slipped something in someone's drink and she was puking in MY toilet.

It was a mess.

Fast forward. It's 5am. All of a sudden my drunk friends need me when they were ignoring me all night. I locked them out. Told them to go fuck themselves and sleep in the hallway. Later on I let them in while I was sleeping.

I woke up fucking PISSED. I kicked them out.  Didn't say goodbye. Threw their shit at them. I found $13 on the front lawn between the stray red cups that somehow ended up out there. I bought breakfast by myself with the money, and now I'm in this parking lot of my closed home.

Nine missed calls. Numerous texts. Fuck all of them. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone. Leave me alone.