Wallet stealing baby dyke bitch

Keely got an apartment in Manayunk. Which is both a horrible and great idea for her at the same time. It’s horrible because she’s an alcoholic, and it’s great because she’s an alcoholic.

Keith and I went with her when she signed her lease. It was fucking like, mid-afternoon and there was a gigantic party down the street with strangers yelling “hi” at me. I mean, my roommate is a bartender in this area, but I don’t go here much outside of that. It’s not my kind of place. Lots of drunken idiots, lots of car accidents in the tight roads, and .. that’s really it. Drunken idiots and car accidents.

After a long talk with my sister, I made a decision. I told her that I, at one point, was drinking enough to black out about 4 or 5 times a week. And that I’ve slowed down to like.. 1 or 2 times a week? And she insisted that I try cutting out alcohol for a bit. Especially since it was affecting my job. I mean, the morning before I had the talk with her I was so hungover that I needed to drive to work with sunglasses on and one eye closed because the sky was too bright. And I was thirty minutes late.

So the day after I decide on sobriety, I go to one of the biggest party towns I know with two of the biggest drinkers I know. Great.

But you’d be proud. I didn’t drink. Well, except for a few sips of a few new beers. But that was it. So I went a whole day sober.

And then last night I went out drinking with the boys and got so incredibly drunk that I smacked my head on the bar and got a bump on my forehead.

I mean.. you win some, you lose some.

I don't regret it. It was amusing. My roommate nearly got into a fight at the bar and the guy was giving him a dirty look and my roommate says to us, loudly, "I got Kevin who knows two forms of karate, Sean who knows one, Keith who's a B.A., and Nicole who might lick him to death."

After that, the man bought him a drink. What a silly night.

Oh, and my title is "wallet stealing baby dyke bitch" because Keith called me that in his hangover voice this morning because he couldn't find his wallet and it made me laugh.