Where I Thought I'd Be

I promised myself that this will be a great year so I decided to keep track of the things that make me happy, because the times when I get sad this year, I can look back at the things that made me happy and remember that this year WILL be good.

So what makes me happy so far this year?

I love that I have been hiding out in my warm cozy apartment with the lights dim, a candle lit, and my soft deep red blankie draped over my body. I've been appreciating the small things in life. I've been napping on my comfy bed, listening to the train whistle blow as it passes by.

I haven't been drinking alcohol. Instead, I've been indulging in nice hot cups of coffee. I've been eating healthy and cooking super yummy vegetarian meals when I arrive home from work.

I've been editing a lot of my past writings, however, I currently have writer's block. My living room is littered with crumbled up pieces of paper with horrible writing on them. I just lost my juice. What I need is some writing adventures to inspire me, but it's too cold outside! When I haven't been able to write the words that need to be written, I've been drawing, painting.

And you know what, I've totally revived my love for drawing and painting. I'm not that great of a drawer or a painter, but that's not the point. The point is that it is more effective in expressing my feelings at the moment, because writing just isn't working.

What else makes me happy? Sitting on my futon next to my Gaga Terry Richardson book watching Glee episode after Glee episode with a glass of water and some crackers.

Also, I've made it a habit to always wake up when it's still dark outside on weekends. That's my favorite time of the day. It's pitch black in my apartment with the exception of a candle and a dim lit centerpiece on my kitchen table. It's such a beautiful time of the day and it goes by way too fast.

This year just feels so good. I feel like I'm exactly where I wanted to be. I remember as a kid I always said "24, that's gonna be a great year for me." I'm not kidding. For some reason, 24 always stuck out to me. I dreamed of living alone (check), near a city (check), as a writer (check), supporting myself (check). On the 29th I'll be 24 and I'm exactly where I wanted myself to be.

I feel like that's something to be proud of.