what the fuck

i have a tendency to wake up at 5am with the most intense thoughts ever. and then i feel the need to write. so yeah. it’s 6:30am, i’m still wearing my clothes from last night, my apartment is freezing because i forgot to turn on the heat, i’m toasting a bagel, and i wrote.. a lot.

this morning’s solo philosophizing, i believe, was sparked by last night. and the night before, actually.

last night at the bar was.. wow. i had the heaviest conversations ever. i discussed welfare, democrats vs. republicans, the intricacies of determining a career path, as well as how people lock themselves up.

keith and i don’t care much about anything. we’re wanderers at heart and we are confused by people who are so locked up by.. something. we can’t figure out what it is. keith, keely, and i are spontaneous little buggers and we have trouble wrapping our heads around the fact that people are just so.. stationary. how is it that keith and i can go on an adventure for.. i don’t know.. an hour (?) and return to a bar in which every single person is still standing in pretty much the same spot? just… standing there looking bored. we are so boggled by this.

anyway, the night before kevin and i had a three hour intense conversation. not like that’s anything new. kevin and i would regularly get caught up in debates and curiosities back in the day. but yeah, yesterday we discussed politics, abortion, sexual fluidity, the idea of being “queer,” how people choose the life paths they choose, and the different ways that people fight.

i love thinking really hard. i love when i can be graced by the presence of a person who likes to discuss life and the way that it is so predictable.

keely and i often have these intense discussions as well.. but she often takes a position that makes me tilt my head.

sheesh.. it is now 6:39 in the morning and i wrote an entire blurb without any capitalization, i have a pad of paper filled with new poetry, and my mind is just.. going crazy right now.

when i do find someone one day, there is one requirement. they must be capable of intelligent conversation on a regular basis.