My Lifestyle.

After receiving an email from my ex's mother in which she referred to my life as a "lifestyle," I needed to vent.

It freaks me out when people refer to my LIFE as a "lifeSTYLE."  That's such an outdated term.  I just am the way that I am, just like you are the way that you are.

I was sitting next to my coworker talking about gay marriage (he knows about me- I came out on a post it note that said "surprise I'm gay" with a smiley face).  He had such an "us" versus "them" mentality when he was talking about marriage.  I am not THEM.  I am a living breathing human and I'm no different from anyone else.

It amazes me how divided some people think "we" are.  We're just effin humans.  That's it.  Just humans living the life that makes us who we are.

I have trans friends and I've seen a lot of transphobia in my cis friends who have been sheltered and can't really understand anything other than a heteronormative barefoot and pregnant mentality.

When people refer to my life as a lifeSTYLE, I can't help but think of my trans friends and how rough life is for them.  They are just people.  It is not a lifestyle.  Being trans doesn't define them- being a good person, that's what defines them.  Ha, "them." Being a good person should be what defines EVERYONE.

I'm so effin sick of this "us" versus "them" mentality.

I know this one transboy in particular- he is adorable, he is smart, he is a HE.  Hearing people jokingly say "it" or focus on the fact that he was born a girl is absolutely frustrating to me.  Because when I look at him, I just see a cute boy with an even cuter personality. Yes, deep in the caves of my Nicolebrain, I have the fact that he is trans sitting on a shelf somewhere- BUT that's the way it should be... put my "lifestyle" as you would like to call it on a shelf in your brain somewhere, forget about it, and just look at me for what I really am.  A silly girl with an even sillier personality.

THEN, maybe THEN the whole marriage thing won't seem to be such a big deal to you.  We're all just PEOPLE.

I'm so sick of talking about "being gay."  It shouldn't even need to be a discussion.  Imagine having to talk about "being a brunette" all of the time and defending your brunette-ness.  Imagine having to hold up a post it note that says "surprise I'm brunette" with a smiley face.  THAT is how fucking ridiculous this all feels to me.

When I came out to my coworker he said that he felt happy that I "felt comfortable enough" to tell him that.  In the back of my head I was thinking "um it's not a big deal, don't feel special."  I only felt the need to tell him because our current discussion was gay marriage.  It's not like it's some big secret that I was waiting to tell.  It was just relevant to tell him at the time.

You know, like how your brunette hair would be a relevant topic discussion at a hair salon.