I thought today was beautiful. Because today I was Nicole, I smiled a lot, and I accepted the fact that I am fucking happy. I really melted into my happiness and let it take over every inch of my giddy body.
I woke up early. I had a nice warm bagel and a cup of coffee. I drank a glass of orange juice. I chatted with my roommate and her girlfriend.
I drove to the river and watched it flow. I attempted to write some poetry while I was there. Took the long way home through North Philly. Zigzagged up to the Northwest and watched all of the people walking along Main Street as I cruised with my windows down. When I made it home I ate some carrots and mixed some nuts and cherries and soy milk into some oatmeal. I wrote a bit more and invited Keith over.
After hanging out with my roommate and her girlfriend for a minute, we headed back to Main Street to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I filled up on nachos and sangria. Then we walked up the canal towpath for at least a mile. We stopped where me and _____ always used to go. I got sad for a second but it was okay. We found a secret stairway up to Roxborough, which led us straight to the bar that me and _____ always used to go to.
Again, got sad for a second, but it was okay.
Then we hopped into the Jeep, blasted some music and zigzagged through North Philly and Center City down to South Philly. We wandered the streets, went into a sex toy shop, creeped on beautiful women. Then we went back up to the Northwest. We had some ice cream, went up to the basketball courts to chill for a minute, and then went on a quick cruise through Germantown.
It was a nice day. I was HAPPY.
WAS happy, keyword. As soon as I got into bed I thought of him again and it overtook my body. I miss how happy his presence made me. Even when he was grumpy, his beautiful grumpy face made my heart glow. But it gets easier each day, I swear. One of these days everything will be okay.
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