Everything is going to be okay

It was still dark and I didn't even know I was doing it.  It was 6:30 in the morning and I was reading an investment blog, trying to figure out which stocks I should invest in.  I looked around and determined, "Oh shit, I'm awake."  So I stood up, turned on a low light, and walked over to the mirror.  I lifted my shirt and smiled.  When your personal trainer busts your butt and you spend your night doing burpees, squats, sit-ups and push-ups, you want to see the results.  I see it.  I'm thankful for each pretty line in my abdominal region because it means I'm taking good care of my body.  I want to live a long, healthy life.

I went downstairs and put the kettle on the stove because my first step of the day is a cup of green tea.  As that warms up, I pour organic oats into a bowl and top it with sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin puree, a little bit of strawberry preserves, cinnamon, coconut cream and water.  I warm that up.  So after my breakfast is made and the dog has peed and I've lit the candle that I light ritualistically every Saturday and Sunday morning, I sit in bed and get ready to read, blog, work on poetry, or watch a lighthearted comedy.  Today I chose blogging, but I think I'm going to read after this.  Either I'll continue my novel (About a Boy) or I'll continue reading up on stocks followed by the news.

Every Saturday and Sunday, I do a similar variation of the above.  I find it extremely therapeutic.  Actually, I don't know what I'd do without it.

This past week was lovely.  My friends (Alyssa and Buddy) invited me over to their home for a great dinner (vegetarian sweet potato burgers with asparagus).  It was a reminder that no matter how old I become, I'm still Nicole and I still surround myself with people who are like Nicole.  I mean, we discussed polyamory, looked at porn, planned a strip club visit, and talked about uncircumcised penises.  Yup, I'm still Nicole.

Today should be good as well.  I'm going to my attorney's daughter's bat mitzvah tonight.  I'm excited to get dressed up, indulge in an open bar, and eat eat eat!

The other night I was at a show with my friends and Buddy said, "Where's Nicole? I just want Nicole back."  I admit that I've been a different human for the last past seven months, and I do think it has been a turning point (I think I'm diving into actual adulthood), but I want Nicole back too.  The new and improved 26 year old Nicole that will put smiles on my friends' faces every time I enter a room.

I want that so bad and I'm well on my way.  My personal trainer is helping more than he knows.  Everything is going to be okay.