Beautiful days

The whole world is beautiful today.  Every single piece of it.  Even the sound of the neighbor power-washing his shed, as ridiculous as that may sound.  Today I feel perfect.

Not like... perfect-perfect, rather, perfect as in.. 100% myself.  Every single thing about this day is 100% Nicole, from the smell of apple cider in my kitchen to the busy maroon rug underneath my feet.  My friends are me today.  They are reflecting who I am and I can sense that they appreciate it.  They are loving me exactly how I want to be loved.  The room is speaking to me.  It's saying "Nicole, everything is put in it's perfect place. And this is you."  Because we are what we surround ourselves with.

Today I am a writer.  A daughter who is loved by two parents despite the differences. A friend to rely on, to love.  A girl who loves blasting The Vines and appreciates each lyric. The girl who drinks a cup of coffee the size of her head and sips on water out of a wine glass.  I'm wearing a black pushup bra, comfy sweatpants, I'm barefoot.  Remnants of hot pink lipstick from last night are still resting on my lips.  My hair is every-which-way, how I like it.  Black eyeliner is falling below my eyes.  I smell like warm vanilla sugar but there's also a hint of stripper-esque perfume that I put on for fun now and then.  I have high heels strewn across my bedroom floor.

This is who I am.

There's poetry beside me on crinkled yellow pieces of legal pad paper.  That's me.  At any given time you will find at least 5 or 6 random pieces of unedited poetry floating around my cave-like apartment.

Kyle looked at me once and said I'm a social butterfly.  My phone is ringing off the hook with friendly, enthusiastic invites today.  And then once, I sat at a bar between two past hookups and one said "Do you hook up with all of your friends?" I smiled because there was nothing I could say.  That's me, I'm sexual. I'm fun. I want to hear you fuck in the bedroom while I drunkenly sit in the living room.

I'm intense.  I tell my friends I love them with every piece of my heart and soul and I mean it more than anything else in the world.  When I'm drunk, I put my floppy arm around their beautiful necks, kiss their soft smiling cheeks and tell them how much I love them.  It's not the alcohol talking, it's my heart.  I mean it.  When I love someone, it's deep within my soul.  Many people have dug their way into my soul... and I will never ever take that for granted.  I am the luckiest girl in the fucking universe, I swear.

I love my dad.  His gentle smile, his squinty eyes.  His calm demeanor that hides below that rage that seeps through now and then.  He has a heart of gold... and he loves me with every piece of it.  I'm so lucky to have him as a father.. and as a friend.  I am so thankful he exists.  I love my crazy mother even though she can be a bitch-but I guess that's where I get it from.  I love her carefree nature, her youthful cheekbones despite her age, and the fact that she'd really do anything for me.  I love that attitude she has about her.

Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy the rest of this day, because it's beautiful.  Every day is, really.