Pebbles on the beach

What a beautiful day that was perfect in every way.  I went home.  I talked to my grandmother for hours.  She explained that she had the same problems as me.  I cried and she comforted me.  She made me feel at home.  She made me hopeful.

She kept saying, "there are other pebbles on the beach!"  She told me not to worry. I love her so much.

Then I went to go visit my parents.  We went on a long walk.  They gave me bits of life advice and told me what everyone else has been saying, "when you're not looking, he'll be there for you."  My dad looked around at the beautiful sunny scene, waved his arms side to side and said "Lookit!  You couldn't have picked a better time for this to have happened.  It's beautiful out, it's sunny."  He's right.  He said I need to live in the now and not focus on tomorrow.  He said that's what he does.

When I was getting Debby Downer on him he said, "I'M gonna need antidepressants."  I love my dad.

I told him and my mom, "What's the reason for living?"  Then I jokingly said, "Ice cream.  Ice cream is the reason."  An hour later, my dad took me and my mom out for ice cream.  Not to mention the cute bag of chocolate he gave me for Easter.  They also picked me up a scratch off ticket and I won $30.  I could have cashed it in back home- but I am going to cash it in at a place in Andrew's neighborhood.  I have to reclaim that place anyway.

I love my parents so much.  My mom soothed me all day- kept saying that everything will be okay and that I will find someone to love me.  And my dad was blunt.  Told me that I made mistakes too.  Andrew may have hurt me but I hurt him too.  That's life.  I don't want to make the same mistakes again.  Please, universe, help me avoid making the same mistakes again.  I don't want to hurt the people that I love.

After enjoying every second with my parents, I went to go visit Nick.  He insisted that life will be okay.  His parents said that I'm young and not to worry.  His dad in particular said, "Let's get lit and forget about your problems."  His dad cracks me up.  I said to Nick while we were drunk and riding around in his golf cart, "Won't it bother your dad that you're driving your golf cart drunk?"

Shortly afterwards his dad saw us and yelled "Let Nicole drive it!"

So I did.  While drunk.  Hey, I've been very good in handling this whole thing.  I need a little something to keep me going.

As we sat around a campfire toasting marshmallows it hit me.  I said to Nick, "You know, now I only have to make one person happy, not two."

I can appreciate that.  I don't want to be a selfish person anymore, but I wouldn't mind a little less stress.  I want to stop and smell the beautiful roses.  And there are plenty of other people in my life that I can pick them for until I meet my prince charming.

I imagine that he's going to walk up to me in a bar in the city one day.  My friends will be setting up their instruments, getting ready to play.  I'll be standing against a wall with a beer.  He'll smile at me.  And my drunk self will introduce myself, because that's what I do.

Then we'll live happily ever after.  But in the meantime, I should still live happily.